Reading: A Lifelong Sharing, by Mother Teresa

Love cannot remain by itself - it has no meaning.
Love has to be put into action and that action is service.
Whatever form we are,
Able or disabled,
Rich or poor,
It is not how much we do,
But how much love we put in the doing:
A lifelong sharing of love with others.

Sermon:

Basic. It's one of those words that's used to indicate fundamental value or importance. We hear it all the time: basic needs, basic principles, basic understandings. "Back to basics" rallies support for the "3-R's". Usually, we have a pretty good idea what's included by these phrases. Basic needs: food, clothing and shelter. Basic principles of nutrition: eat your fruits and veggies and limit your junk food. Basic ideas about fairness: equal opportunity, playing by the rules and doing your share. You get the picture.

In other areas, though, what's basic to some of us may be quite foreign to others. Basic attitudes are this way. Some of our attitudes are pretty individual - we are outgoing or introverted, trusting or more wary, cheerfully optimistic or duskily pessimistic about the world. For various reasons, we have different perspectives and paradigms about humankind and the way the world works. And we know that this world is both broken and beautiful, that it offers full measures of joy and sorrow. The question, then, becomes "How will we approach the world? How will we respond?"

This is a fundamental, that is, basic human question - and a religious question. Our general culture fosters an outlook of danger and fear. There's never enough, so you'd better get yours. Buying cool stuff shows that you really are more successful, better, than ordinary folks. That message seemed almost unassailable until the economy started to skid over a year ago. These days, many of those who believed it are faced with both the loss of their purchases and large amounts of debt. We've changed our habits of spending - either out of necessity or in response to the difficulties around us.

I keep hearing that people are also changing their attitudes - that they are more focused on family and friends, reaching out to help each other and finding satisfaction and joy in the connections and relationships these changes are nurturing. I hope it's true - but with a cautious hope. You see, I am acutely aware of the press of messages urging us to buy, to do and to be busy. I don't think those are going away.

What I'd like to hear more are messages that remind us that life and love are gifts. That each moment offers us joys and blessings - air to breathe, food to share, hands to hold in support and affirmation, almond blossoms swaying in the wind. I want to be told that each person is important, that our actions matter; make a difference. I remind you that being a Unitarian Universalist, being here in this congregation, means that you are part of that message. It means you have chosen something other than common cultural attitudes. Not that we're immune to them. That'll be the day! But we do affirm some things that aren't fully accepted in the wider culture.

Rev Naomi King, of Horizon UU Church, says that being part of a UU congregation requires courage and dedication, because we are working against conventional wisdom. She explains,

"The conventional wisdom says,
Only a few people are worth caring about, so get everything for yourself that you can.
If you aren't wealthy, it's your fault.
If you aren't happy, it's your fault.
And you better hope to get to heaven some day."

But, she reminds us, in UU congregations, our basics are different. We say

"Everyone is worth caring about, even if we have to struggle to see that.
We can have enough money and time and give to others, too.
There is such a thing as social inequity, and we're working to change that.
Happiness . begins . in human connection and caring."

And whether there is a heaven or not, we can rejoice in the gifts of life and work to make a difference in our world. Here we offer gratitude.

Our gratitude for life's blessings prompts us to generous action. A group of us attended a workshop held last weekend in Livermore. The title was "Faithful Generosity," but I called it "the generosity workshop" for short. One member of our group, however, kept calling it "the gratitude workshop." When I asked about that, the response was, "Oh, I don't really see a difference. For me, generosity comes out of gratitude." I certainly won't argue with that.

A prominent thread running through our culture says there really isn't enough - of anything. It's a message of scarcity. Parker Palmer, a noted Quaker writer who is also popular with UUs has an essay that contrasts scarcity with abundance. He says that the assumption of scarcity is common in our world, but the reality is that people who can, often create scarcity by taking far more than they need. "The pathway from scarcity to abundance is called community," he writes, and continues, "All major religions, at their core, reveal the insight that scarcity is an illusion."

Palmer recounts the story of Jesus multiplying the loaves and fishes. It is one of the few stories that appears in all four of the Christian gospels. Now when I first learned this story, it was presented as an example of Jesus' miraculous ability to make much out of almost nothing. The disciples were being practical when they suggested sending the people off to find food to buy, but they learned to have more faith in Jesus' supernatural powers. Sometime later I came to realize that the real miracle was getting that crowd to share what they'd brought along with those around them. Palmer develops that idea with much greater complexity. He says that the disciples wanted to privatize the problem and have the marketplace and cash economy take care of it. Jesus, in contrast, trusted the people to take care of each other. No wonder they called him a radical!

Palmer also notes that there was quite an element of risk in Jesus' action. Now that the end has become familiar, it's easy to think that the result was predictable. We forget that other gospel accounts tell of situations where the crowds became ugly and Jesus had to find an escape. When we realize this, we see that even our best gestures and generous advice don't guarantee success, yet it is possible.

And maybe there's even some payback. I know it's a long way from the Christian Scriptures to the New York Times, though I hear that's what a lot of UUs read on Sunday mornings. I don't get the Times, but I followed a link to an op-ed piece that appeared a little over a month ago. It was a Nicholas Kristof column titled: Our Basic Human Pleasures: Food, Sex, and Giving. How about that!?!

I'd say there are some disconnects here. First of all, what's this Basic Pleasures thing? I've heard of a lot of basics - but basic pleasure is not among them. I think I like the idea. Then there's the combination - food, sex, and giving? Not what ordinarily comes to mind! That's where Kristof spends his time.

He cites a new book called The Happiness Hypothesis that talks about what might make us happy. It turns out that men are no happier than women. A sunny climate doesn't help. Health is surprisingly inconsistent in its effect. On the other hand, a low-to-moderate level of stress helps us up the happiness scale, as do volunteering and giving blood. Religious faith plays its part. Human connections make us happier - marriage, friendship networks and church communities all contribute. "Nobility," Kristof writes, "can lead to happiness." Interviews tell of cases where busy people reluctantly took on some good cause and found it became a huge source of fulfillment. It sounds like us do-gooders are on to something. Maybe the folks who deride us are actually jealous!

Brain research shows that thinking about giving money to charity causes activity in parts of the brain that are associated with eating or sex. The brain scans light up! Maybe we are hard-wired to be altruistic. "To put it another way," Kristof says, "It's difficult for humans to be truly selfless, for generosity feels so good."

Well! If all that is true, why are so few people really generous? Why do we have so many teaching stories - from loaves and fishes and the widow's mite to Robin Hood, A Christmas Carol and the Grinch - stories that try to convince us it's a good thing to be giving and not a good thing to be a hoarder? Why, when we grow up knowing that one of the worst playground insults is being called stingy, do we find ourselves anxious and "clutchy" over money and giving as adults?

Why, indeed! If I had an answer, I'd be on the best seller lists and the lecture circuit. But I do have some musings. I think that generosity is an impulse that comes partly with increasing maturity. When I watch babies and small children, I see them act in ways that get their needs met. Whether it's food, or affection, exercise or a diaper change, they have ways to let us know about it. Older kids show great needs for attention. "Look at me!" When we become young adults, a big shift toward independence takes place, but we never outgrow our need for attention and approval from others. Depending on a whole host of factors, including some resistance to the voices of consumerism and scarcity, we may come to a place of confidence, gratitude and caring that prompts us to live generously. Good examples help. But love has at the core. As our reading reminds us, "Love cannot remain by itself ... [it] has to be put into action.

Religions around the world and across the centuries have voiced these ideas; ideas about love, generosity and gratitude for the gifts of life. I would never deny that religious organizations have corrupted that message, strayed from it and even betrayed it. But when religion speaks from foundations of love and justice, it helps people understand that generous action is indeed deeply rewarding. This congregation has a fine record of generosity, of response to crisis and need, whether it's one of our own or a distant disaster. Just in the last few months, we have sent nearly $600 to Interfaith Ministries, provided Safeway cards to help the a family through a cancer crisis and donated more than $2500 to UU relief efforts in Haiti. We cook feasts for the winter shelters. I imagine each of us can name other generous acts, large and small, among us.

At this time of year, we ask you to respond, not to a crisis, but to the ongoing, basic care and feeding of this congregation. You will soon be receiving a letter from our Pledge Committee. Please don't toss it on the desk or counter and forget it. Open it. And read it. Along with the letter, you'll find some graphic information about our current pledges. You'll see that we are unbalanced in our pledge levels. We need to do something to change the distribution - and it will only happen with decisions made by our members.

Talking about money is one of the few great taboos in our culture. Just raising the topic elicits nervous laughter, a tensing and defensive alertness. I think the only way around this is to talk about money more. Maybe we can start by telling each other about the patterns we experienced growing up. How did your family treat money? Were they careful planners or did they spend what they got and hope more would arrive? Did they buy things on impulse or save up? Did they provide some of their own needs, growing or making things at home? Did they give money to their church, community organizations, or other causes? Was their generosity directed to individuals? Did they help in other ways? When we talk about these things, we become more aware of the influences on our attitudes. And we are gradually better able to decide what patterns are consistent with our aspirations and ideas about what kind of person we want to be.

As I was working on this sermon, I read through a little book called The Miracle of Tithing. Its author, Mark Victor Hansen, is also the writer of two bestsellers, Chicken Soup for the Soul and The One Minute Millionaire. You can imagine that I approached the book with a mixture of curiosity and suspicion. As expected, there were stories which implied that if you just start tithing, the Universe will immediately provide rewards. Hansen takes pains to deny that there's a promise. But look at all this good fortune! It's a miracle!

Now, I am not one to preach or believe a prosperity gospel, but there were a few points that I tagged. "Tithing," Hansen writes, "opens your heart to greater good." I think that's true. It's only logical that the act of giving to something you believe in means you're giving some of your attention and concern to a promising ideal. You've opened your heart. Tithing means you "become solution-oriented rather than problem-oriented." That also makes sense to me. Your donation means that you have moved from lamenting a problem to addressing it. These and similar points describe what may be the most important effect of tithing: its effect on the giver. Significant giving is life changing - and I don't mean that you'll become a bag-lady. It gives you a freedom and clarity about your finances. It assures you that you are indeed helping to make the world better. It aligns you with your ideals and with the greater good.

You probably know that the word "tithe" refers to donating 10% of your income. Hansen has a section on how it's just fine to give more. Many churches teach that 10% should go to the church. Another model is sometimes called a "social justice tithe." This system gives 5% to the faith community and 5% to other causes. This is the model I personally use, pledging about 5% of what you pay me and donating the same amount elsewhere. This did not happen overnight. When I decided to do this, my giving level was nowhere near the goal. So I started working to change my habits. After I succeeded, I began giving additional amounts without keeping count. You may notice that I always put something in the basket in our services. Not just every Sunday; every service. Only one a month is my pledge check. I think this congregation, and Unitarian Universalism is so important to my life, to our members and friends, to the surrounding community and to those who will follow us. I am happy to support it.

The piece I want to emphasize, however, is not a set percentage. It's the practice of choosing a percentage of your income to be your pledge. The beauty of this system is that percentages level out the effect of amount when we talk about generosity. If you are a 4% giver, you are as significant a donor, as generous a donor - whether your income is $20,000 or $200,000 or $2 million.

I don't know how many of us have this practice already, but I'd be surprised if it's a large number. Michael Durall, who's a UU author and consultant, claims that building percentage-based pledging can eliminate a congregation's need for an annual fund drive. You just take responsibility for setting your pledge when you do your taxes and let the church know about it. It may take a while to get to this, but it sure sounds good to our pledge drive volunteers! And if Kristof is right, we'll all be a lot happier!

So I hope you will take my urging seriously. Look at the information in the Fellowship letter. Think about what difference this congregation makes in your life, how much it means to you and what it stands for in our area. Where else are you welcomed and affirmed for who you are and encouraged to grow spiritually in the ways that work best for you? Where else are children raised with principles that focus on the importance of each person, on our responsibilities to each other and our interdependence on this earth? What other group provides the combination of service to the community and voice for equality for all the way we do?

No one claims that we are perfect. No human person, group or institution is or can be. But we do our best to live up to principles of welcome, inclusion, growth and equality. Make your pledge decisions based on those things. It's all about love and justice, really. What could be more basic? What could be more worthy of our support?

February 28, 2010

This is one of our Minister's Sermons. We also have a brief biography of Rev. Simons, and the latest edition of Grace Notes, a column she writes for our newsletter.
We have another sermon collection, from our Guests.