(This is the second in a series of three sermons on the UU Principles.)

Combinations. We encounter gazillions of them - in food, in art, in the workplace, in literature and in advertising - just for starters. Sometimes they seem almost inseparable - peanut butter and jelly, mom and apple pie, stars and stripes, blood, sweat and tears. At other times, seemingly different elements are brought together - day and night, war and peace, rich and poor. Usually, that's done for contrast. After all the differences are so apparent!

Sometimes, though, the unusual pairing - or grouping - is meant to lift up a relationship, a connection or possible new way to see or use the varied elements. Sometimes an unlikely combination is the source of delight. At other times, our reaction is quite the opposite. Sometimes, we're left figuratively scratching our heads. And in still other cases, the combination seems reasonable, maybe even natural, until we take a closer look.

When I first read our third and fourth UU principles, I liked `em. Who'd argue with accepting each other or with spiritual growth? What UU doesn't like freedom? Who among us would deny the need for responsibility? And one of our hallmarks is searching for truth and meaning in many places. Great stuff. So what else is on the list?

But let's not move on too quickly. While all of these things - acceptance, growth, freedom, responsibility, searching, truth & meaning are things we approve, putting them in combination with each other involves some tension, and if we're to hold them together, we'll need to think about balance. Balance between the elements, that is, and also keeping our own balance. Let's look a little closer.

Our third principle begins with affirming and promoting "acceptance of one another." As an outgrowth of the idea that each person has inherent worth, acceptance seems logical enough. And it is. Which doesn't help much, because we humans often behave illogically. I can't remember if it was a pundit - or maybe a cartoon character - who said, "I love humankind; it's the people I hate!' We can relate, right?!

When we're actually together, sharing a project, taking a class, working out a schedule or even just socializing, people can be so irritating! They just don't do stuff the way we want! Sometimes even we don't do stuff the way we want! There are personal idiosyncrasies, but we also have different ideas about how we should go about our living. What if we've been raised with different ideas about our manners? What if I'm a big-time recycler and you discard stuff whenever you're done using it? What if you're passionate about health food and someone else brings Twinkies for the RE snacks? What if someone promises they'll do something and it just doesn't happen? What if our politics are different or we support different causes? What about other attitudes and standards?

Our principles call us to separate the person - the one with inherent worth - from the behaviors we don't approve or accept. This can be quite a challenge. And it's doubly difficult if we're disappointed or upset, hurt ourselves or worried about someone else. We're not asked to agree, but we are expected to stay in relationship, to find ways of being in community that are respectful. Sometimes hearing someone else's story or perspective helps. At least we may be able to understand how they see the situation. Sometimes we can find other areas where there's more agreement and use them as a sort of common ground. In this religious community, our commitment to the worth of each person means we stay in relationship.

To make matters more complicated, this principle links the idea of acceptance with "encouragement to spiritual growth." Well, I'm all for spiritual growth, but that combination sounds a little like saying, `You're welcome here and accepted just as you are; now change.' How can we understand acceptance and encouragement to growth together? One way to think about it is to consider that part of accepting someone is to want them to be the best, the fullest and deepest people they can. If that's so, then our religious communities need to en-courage, that is to give courage to, each one of us to grow, and yes, to change some in the process. Sometimes we need courage to do that. We're not talking about changing belt sizes or developing muscles - though can be fine things. We're talking about character development, spiritual development, growth in wisdom and understanding. We're also talking about changes in our attitudes and behaviors when new understanding puts a different light on old actions and patterns.

I personally like another image. I have long thought that part of increasing experience, of considering new perspectives and somehow managing to bring it all into some kind of awareness requires a stretching of the soul. I imagine that my meaning is akin to those who speak of increasing wisdom. So much in life is contradictory; so much makes no sense. The thing may be true, but something within us rebels against it - young lives suddenly ended, whole communities destroyed by disaster, people afflicted with pain or chronic disease. How do we see these things and not lose sight of the gifts and beauties around us, the bounty of being alive? Both the pain and the beauty are real. But they sure are hard to reconcile! It's even hard to keep both in view rather than letting one obscure everything else!

A. Powell Davies, a well-known minister of All Souls Church in Washington DC used to say that life was just a chance to grow a soul. And I recently learned that Bernard Loomer, a process theologian who joined our church in Berkeley later in life, used to ask people there about the "size" of their soul. He liked to spell it out: "What's the S-I-Z-E of your soul? He claimed that the world naturally becomes ever more complex and that we need to grow ever larger souls to begin to encompass that reality. If we don't grow and change, we risk stagnation and become irrelevant in the face of new realities. One of the things that draws me to these images of soul growth is that they seem to address the speaker as well as the hearer. When I read "encouragement to spiritual growth" I'm tempted to think that I'm supposed to encourage someone else. When I think about stretching or growing a soul, I know it's something we each do for ourselves - me included.

Our congregations need to be places where we all find encouragement for this kind of growth. We can do this in different ways, but one of the best is through our Fellowship Circles. We're in the process of organizing for our third year of this program right now. The idea is that a small group of our members agrees to meet with a facilitator from October through April. Each meeting takes up some question about the challenges and joys of living. We take time to think more deeply about the topic, to share our experiences and understanding. In doing this, we get to know each other much more than ordinary social occasions allow. Also, in hearing the ideas and feelings of others, and formulating our own, we come to a fuller, more nuanced spirituality ourselves. We connect with and encourage others and we grow our souls. In the words of James Luther Adams, the groups foster both Intimacy and Ultimacy. If you'd like to be part of a Fellowship Circle, there's more information, and registration forms in a lavender pamphlet in the back of the sanctuary.

In my mind, this idea of spiritual growth is linked to our commitment to searching for truth and meaning. Those are called forth in our fourth principle. It says we affirm and promote a free and responsible search for truth and meaning. And here again we have some interesting combinations. It seems, just for starters, that contemporary American culture has embraced the idea of freedom and failed to bring responsibility along with it. Maybe I'll do a whole sermon on that one day. For now, let's just look at a UU context.

Many new UUs are delighted to find that we require no set of established, required beliefs about such things as the existence and nature of God, whether heaven or hell exist or what happens when we die. Rather, we encourage each person to piece together their own religious understanding on these and other topics. We want folks to look at a variety of possibilities and to think about them in relationship to their experience, background and understanding. This is not really the same as saying a UU can believe anything they want. We expect ourselves and each other to carry on our search in ways that aren't set out in detail, that are free to look widely, but are also responsible. What does that look like?

Well, for starters, we expect to listen to each other and also to ask questions and voice our own views. You've often heard me speak of `support and challenge' - it's another way of saying we offer respect for your ideas (and your inherent dignity) but we also want to ask how you reached your position, your beliefs, and the ways you think they fit together. We want you to consider the ways we think about issues whether we're in agreement or not. We see a responsibility to avoid harming others or refusing to consider ideas besides our own. At least we hope to do these things. We are, after all, only human.

Moreover, we're committed to the process of support and challenge. Most of us appreciate support when it's offered. We may not be as eager when it's our turn to offer it to others. It seems to be the opposite for challenge. We may find it easy to challenge someone's idea or explanation and not so easy to be gracious and thoughtful when we ourselves are challenged. We don't have a lot of examples or models for thoughtfully, considerately, responsibly offering challenge or disagreement, so we're feeling our way, gradually learning unfamiliar skills. We know that spiritual growth and depth can be our reward.

The second half of that fourth principle speaks of truth and meaning. So much is contained or implied by those three words. Truth and meaning. Some essays on this principle go to great lengths talking about religious truth, what that might be and how it's quite different from ordinary, factual truth. I am not entirely convinced. That's because I find that my knowledge in nearly all areas contributes to my religious understanding and becomes a part of the meaning that directs my actions.

Let me give you an example. My background in biology teaches me to see our planet as an interconnected system. This means that I, as a part of humankind, produce complicated webs of effect and reaction as I go about my various activities. I'd better do what I can to reduce the destructive aspects and increase the ones that repair or contribute to the system's health. If, on the other hand, my background and education were different and I had learned that humans are fundamentally separate and superior to the rest of creation, or even that my particular group is in some way better, I would be responsible only for the enhancement of my own group and not be concerned about damage to anything else. I imagine that with a little reflection, you can offer other examples.

For me, knowledge in all areas contributes to meaning, because it contributes to my understanding of what it is to be human, especially in this time and place. Integration of various kinds of learning with my individual experience and abilities, in turn, directs my action. At least that's what I want. I think those factors are required if I'm to have integrity. Of course, I don't always live up to those standards, but I keep trying. As I learn new things, encounter new ideas and have new experiences, my idea of truth is altered. Hopefully, my actions follow.

So here we are. Trying to hold acceptance and encouragement to growth, freedom and responsibility in our search for truth and meaning and keep them in our awareness at the same time. Quite a combination. Quite a challenge. But our Principles call us to make the effort. Maybe that's what the theologians mean when they speak of growing a soul.

September 23, 2007

(Copyright by Rev. Grace Simons. Contact the author for permission to use.)

This is one in a collection of Minister's Sermons. We also have a collection of Guest Sermons, a brief Welcome and Biography from Rev. Simons, and the latest edition of Grace Notes, a column Rev. Grace writes for our newsletter.